It is that magical time of year again, and while at my last writer’s guild gathering, we were given a prompt to write something beginning with the line ‘Twas the night before Christmas’.

A parody is a humorous or mocking imitation of something, using the same form as the original. The following is my attempt at that.

Quite the night before Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas, when my door got a knock, I opened it up, to receive quite a shock. I couldn’t believe to see what I saw, It was Rudy and Nick being chased by the law.

My pup on the couch gave out a low growl, He probably thought they were out on the prowl. I hustled them in, and slammed shut the door, The sirens grew close, and they hit the floor.

The spotlights then flashed through my curtains and blinds, As the cops searched the streets, in hopes of a find. Rudy’s red nose began dimming, trying hard not to glow, I told them both they had better stay low.

“Go Smith, go Williams, go Balmbeck, and Shue! Go Morris, go Mantle, go Beckerman too!” Barked out the chief, his orders filling the air, “Search every inch, we have no time to spare.”

Now I was quite nervous, to be harbouring felons, I asked what they did, and said you better start tellin. Santa then rolled from his belly to his back, he said the whole thing was totally whack.

He said he and Rudy had just started their night, When one tiny chimney was impossibly tight. “I sprang from the roof, through a door made of steel, To be met by a Gent, who said Santa’s not real.”

“I was shocked, I was rattled, completely displeased, Then he pulled out a pistol and told me to freeze. He yelled out for help, he called 911, What had been so much joy, was no longer much fun.”

“With the man’s final bellow, Rudy appeared by my side, We knew in that moment we just had to hide. So, here we are now at one with your rug, While the police are out looking for a red suited thug.”

Like a light through the dawn, it all became clear, “Christmas needs saving,” I said with a cheer. Santa lamented and shook his head in dismay, “It’s not going to happen, not now, not today.”

I pulled them both up, looking them square in their eyes, “Tonight is the night, that Santa Claus flies.” They readied themselves to take back the sleigh, That was filled up with presents, they could not delay.

Out into my Volvo, I squished tight the two, I rolled to the corner, hit the gas and we flew. The disbeliever stepped out, as I slammed on the brake, I marched myself over, and called him a snake.

Santa and Rudy slipped off into the night. As the man and myself nearly got in a fight. Clattering hooves sounded out, with bells that did jingle, They had no time to waste, and no time for mingle.

From where we stood, we saw them lift to the sky, I looked at him, and he looked at I. The moment was magical, as we heard with delight, “Merry Christmas to all, and to all a goodnight!”

I extend my sincerest gratitude and thanks to everyone who has followed my ramblings this year.

My Christmas wish to you all, is for a healthy and happy holiday season that is filled with lots of love and laughter.